I changed my link to http://nicolerants.blogspot.com! Wanted a new place to blog((:
Okay, it’s like 5pm and i’m still in school? Haha, stayed back to complete my RJ w vera before i go for work later! Omg, i’m seriously super tired and sleepy and yet, there’s work today. And this means i can only see my bed at 11pm?
Nvm, i think i’ll just skip school any one of the days this week. Cause i’m seriously damn tired. Not only of the presentation but the lack of sleep too! Hmm, let me see. Maybe thurs? Haha, see if i can wake up or not. Cant really skip tmr cause it’s science and i already absent myself for that last week.
Gosh, i just feel like letting off some steam. Thought of talking to my mum about it but i’m afraid it’ll lead to a big quarrel afterwards. I’m feeling super shitty and damn freaking down! Seriously, i’m not as strong as i thought. I just cannot or unable to do the things i shoud be doing! And i’ve to pay a high price for it!
Cause of all this stupid f up things, i’ve been feeling damn sad for a whole week, really. The times i broke down this week is really so much more than the whole of last year! I never felt so freaking useless before. I always pray that time will just stop during the weekends so i dont have to go. Pray that things will not be so bad[cause it's impossible for it to be not].
Ah, just shut up la! I really miss all of my friends now! I dont know how to describe la!
Dragged myself up this morning to go to work! And i was still late for 7 mins, haha. Anyhows, after work i had to stay back cause i have to help out w opening and checking of new stocks. Last time is do clothes, and now i’m counting lots and lots of papers. Haha. Stock check and packed it all.
Oh yeah, my aunt had a stopover in Singapore. So she stayed the night w us! She just bought this new mini laptop. But i psycho her into giving it to me((: Haha, and she did! God, she’s the best! Sadly, she’s leaving today):
Life kind of sucks right now! Everything i do, i’ll just end up pissed w myself! Damn, i’m not like myself anymore. I feel i’m becoming more and more introvert[which i already am]. Is it due to my environment or what? Sigh, i dont know what can i do to change. Cause this is me, i guess
Well well, it’s like already the fourth day of school! Hmm, all i can say is it’s not that bad but not good either. I wasnt nervous/scared for the past two days presentation. But today, i was freaking stress can! Cause i’m supposed to actually talk about myself[something like that]. Damn, if i say good things, like so BHB but if i dont, later affect my grade how. So no choice, tried to say something. God, damn screwed up la!
Everybody all says i’m not sociable[is it so?]. Haha. But people, i’m trying my utmost best to be friendly and sociable already! I’m just a quiet person okay! Haha.
Anyways, had lunch w michele they all after school! Man, like what they say, if only i could talk the way i did to my classmates. Haha, hard la! People scared talk to strangers! Haha. But the good news to me is TMR IS FINALLY MY LONG AWAITED FRIDAY((: Cause it means the weekends is finally here. I feel like doing jumping jacks now! Haha
Today is like the first day of school and i’m already dreading it. I dont even feel like attending school! Class aside, the method of teaching, i dont know how is it going to help. Seriously! But do i have a choice? No. So i still have to go to school, whether i like it or not.
Goodness, i’m like laughin at myself for being so dumb! HAHAHAHA. I’m actually quite blind. Okay wait, maybe i dont go for this kind of thing. But i feel so relieved now! Haha, the thing weighing on me is finally off. Mandy, i did the right thing afterall! Haha, proud of myself((:
Anyways, today went dinner w frankie and vera. We went to 925 to eat then head to the arcade! Haha, played some games and won some tickets. Exchanged it for a card game, SNAP! Haha. Actually we were playing at macs but we were making way too much noise so we went to the viod deck near by. Haha. It was so fun la! Got to do it again.
I cannot rmb what have i done in the past few days[memory is failing me]. But i rmb going out w Seiriol on sat to town. She got a b’day present for her mum! I finally changed my powder again. Maybelline(sp?) is really so not suitable, have a major break-out man. Changed to chanel cause Seiriol said it’s better? Haha.
Caught the movie Sniper! And Edison is quite hot la. Haha. Not a bad show to me though. Hmm, orientation is starting on Wed! Totally dont feel like going but i got no choice right. Haha.
Might be going out later for dinner w Vera. Cause she wants to leave her orientation earlier! Haha. Goodness, cant believe hols is over by this week! Haha.
Spent my day at home! Haha, cause my aunt just flew here from indonesia w her friend. They’re staying over at my place((: I’m feeling better than before[mood changes quite fast]. Hhaha. Anyways, i’m really bored right now. So went to read my previous posts. And i realise my life was really very simple[not like it's not now]. I meant it in terms of thinking and the things i feel upset about is different even though only a few months past.
Well, things are constantly changing and so does people. Everyone changes and matures at every point of their life. Nothing stops or waits for you. Even the people around me are not like before, they’ve changed in one way or another. I never used to stop and take a look at the chances or oppurtunity given to me. Now, i learnt that i must treasure every thing or chances that comes my way. I cannot be like before, waiting for it to just come to me. Be it friends, studies and other aspects! Sometimes i cant stand my behaviour, so i’m really thankful to my friends who have been tolerant w me these years.
Likewise, i definitely learn that i cant make everyone like me. There would be people who dislike or maybe hate me, so why do i need to change myself for them? Maybe i should just be myself! Over the past few years, i feel that i’m not myself. Not that i dont want to, just that probably i lost myself in the process. After all the things that happened to me, i learn to take things easier than before and all that will happen, will happen in the end.
Okay, this is a super lengthy post. But just that i was thinking a lot just now. So decided to pen it down! Haha, could be bullshit to some but a lesson for me.
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